Here's something tough to chew on. So I was talking to Rabbi Jeff today and we came to an interesting realization. I was talking about how hard it is to share my struggles with people even though ideally I should be able to rely on God's worth in me enough to not be afraid of what people think of me. If we look for our validation in God then other people's opinions of us shouldn't matter right?
Well Rabbi Jeff thought that idea was misguided. He said that in the same way we love God by loving others, God loves us through the love of others. That its acutally ok to get our validation from others. What a beautiful thought, maybe. Acutally its not because unlike God, people can be nasty to each other without just reason. We can't trust others the way we trust God, right? So then how do we go about putting our hearts in the hands of others?
It seems like we get stuck somewhere on either end. That we either look for love and validation only from God and then we are stuck in the guilt-ridden misery of trying to pretend that we don't care what others think or we are whores to our friends and have no sense of intrinsic worth. I've made no conclusion yet, sorry.
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
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2 comments:
it is indeed a tough question. I have a most unoriginal answer that I won't bother to post. But I will say this. I just try to get my validation simply through loving others, and pray that the day will come when I'm so wrapped up in my passion for them that I need no validation at all.
we always seem to be getting stuck at some end, don't we? every direction we go ends up being a dead end.
sorry for being a nihilist, but its true. the only hope i see is, well, you know me. wrestling with God and letting God raise us through that. the dead ends bring us to desperation (which is often a pretty good place to be). my point is i feel you. i feel like i'm always stuck at some end--and if i'm not at an end, then i'm caught in a spider web of tensions. AAAAAHHH! The Predatory Wasp Of The Palisades Is Out To Get Us!
but it turns out okay. the world turns. the chaff blows away. and what is left is here on the ground inside us.
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