Working Through Money

Today I was in the office talking with Ruth Bloom and all the sudden she hands me a check. The check isn’t from her or the mission; someone sent that check to me. Now that check doesn’t have the largest amount of money I’ve ever received (ahem, I did work in the school cafeteria), but it is probably the most significant check I’ve ever gotten. It’s hard to swallow because you see; it’s not really part of the deal. The deal is that I come here for the summer, work hard, try to live out the kingdom with all the grace I can muster, and I get to stay and eat here for free. I’m staying in a trailer usually occupied by teachers, and I eat whatever the church groups bring, or what the Bloom’s provide for me. I have all things necessary to my salvation. I don’t need anything at the moment (though my school loans may tell a different story, but I get a six-month grace period). Then I get this check, like I’m a real missionary or something. Unlike many missionaries, I didn’t have to ask for money to come here, but someone sent some anyway.

We like to say that every Christian is a missionary. And until today, I never really questioned that. But one big difference between local church ministers and those in “missionary” situations is this thing about money. This check feels nothing like a pay check. When I get a pay check, I might think about how I’m thankful to have a job and the privileges and skills I have that make it possible for me to keep the job, but mostly I look at the hours, wage, taxes, and think, ok, that’s fair. But this is a gift with no tear-off part at the bottom to show me how it worked out. And for some people, that’s the reality of their Christian life. It’s beautiful isn’t it? To work purely to serve. Yet it’s scary (for those lacking in faith, such as myself), to have to wait and hope for provision. That’s a huge reality of being a missionary that I haven’t experienced much of in my life.

So now what do I do? With the money. With the thoughts. With future money I “earn.” If I really believe that every Christian is a missionary, then maybe I should only take what I need from my pay check and give away the rest. Does it make sense to put my money in the bank so it can accrue interest, when I could put it in the church so that it can be used to store up treasures in heaven (and I don’t mean heavenly segways that take you from cloud to cloud-but not down stairs, I mean souls). Maybe that’s not being wise. But that’s often the question for Christians isn’t it? The tension between generosity/hospitality and responsibility, between giving and saving. It’s thick mud and I’m always getting my feet stuck in it. When that happens, pray I get out by grabbing a vine of faith, not greed.

Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful, I really am. Whoever sent this money is going to help get me back to San Diego in August, but it means a lot more to me than that. I want to get what I can from this experience, but not overthink it too much. Ruth said I should rejoice in my gift, so I think I will.