peace

Lately I've been wrestling with this idea of a call. How do we know when we are called to something? That question is rooted in the even deeper question, that I'm sure resonates within every Christian, well every person really: how do I know the voice of God? How does God communicate with me?

So here on earth we have the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is the revelant God. It moves, it walks, it has a rhythm. As far as I can tell, the Father is in heaven and Jesus is seated at his right hand, but the Holy Spirit is in the hearts of the church. So I guess the more appropriate question is how do we "hear" the Holy Spirit? How do we keep in step?

I don't consider myself a person of great faith, but I am learning, and in the midst of that I've come to understand that the Holy Spirit communicates to us through peace. Well that's not completely true. Actually, I think the Holy Spirit talks to me through violence and chaos. Because its not really God that's speaking to me in the chaos. That's when its not God speaking. It's only when God is not speaking to me that I am aware that he is there (or not there). I seem to only notice when God and his Spirit are missing, not when God is there.Its when I'm in those places of distress and unrest that I know something needs to change.

But something always needs to change. The world is being restored, and it needs to be restored. So we're in these places of transition, a place of struggle and suffering, in the shadow of hope. Can we have peace in the midst of suffering, or is suffering lack of peace? If suffering is lack of peace, then the only peace we experience through suffering is by grace, by God. God uses suffering to fix suffering, because suffering isn't the end.(true or false)

I write all this to say that there is tension between us somethimes. There is lack of harmony and there is confusion and unrest and even suffering. It seems like things take time to heal, but although time is the answer to the distress, time is not always the answer to the hurt. A lot of times it sucks to wait. But can we have peace in the waiting? As we wait for time and God to restore our relationships with each other and with God, we need peace to get through. Because we can have peace, but still not be fully restored yet, right? But if peace is not resotration, what is restoration? If suffering is not the end and peace is not the end, what is?

(this draft is more me thinking and searching for truth than me proclaiming truth so please share any insights)