If life is a journey, if life is my personal journey, if life is my story then its about me. I can't seem to reconcile this "personal journey" talk with a the life of a Christian. See, if life is a journey then all that matters is that everywhere I go, there I am; no matter what happens I am the common denominator in everything I know. I might want to be independent and separate enough to reflect on my journey if I thought that sort of distance would bring fulfillment because it would lead me to truth. However, I feel this tension that the more I pursue things that bring me satisfaction, the more I see myself as the main character of my story and the less I see others as having any higher role than supporting actors. But really, people are more than supporting actors, and I am less than a star.
I don't think I can see myself as the hero and do Christianity. It seems to me that living as a holy person means viewing others as the heros and the main characters and taking the supporting role. In that case there is no use for self reflection beyond the purpose of better supporting others and God. Anything else is indulgent and self-glorifying; upstaging. I imagine it takes very different characteristics to win an oscar for best supporting actress than it does for best actress.
Maybe though, the characters aren't made to illustrate other characters, but rather to tell a greater story. So what is the story? Is it character development? is it redemption? is it grace?
Well I don't know what the story is, but its enough for me to know that its not my story.
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