Working Through Money

Today I was in the office talking with Ruth Bloom and all the sudden she hands me a check. The check isn’t from her or the mission; someone sent that check to me. Now that check doesn’t have the largest amount of money I’ve ever received (ahem, I did work in the school cafeteria), but it is probably the most significant check I’ve ever gotten. It’s hard to swallow because you see; it’s not really part of the deal. The deal is that I come here for the summer, work hard, try to live out the kingdom with all the grace I can muster, and I get to stay and eat here for free. I’m staying in a trailer usually occupied by teachers, and I eat whatever the church groups bring, or what the Bloom’s provide for me. I have all things necessary to my salvation. I don’t need anything at the moment (though my school loans may tell a different story, but I get a six-month grace period). Then I get this check, like I’m a real missionary or something. Unlike many missionaries, I didn’t have to ask for money to come here, but someone sent some anyway.

We like to say that every Christian is a missionary. And until today, I never really questioned that. But one big difference between local church ministers and those in “missionary” situations is this thing about money. This check feels nothing like a pay check. When I get a pay check, I might think about how I’m thankful to have a job and the privileges and skills I have that make it possible for me to keep the job, but mostly I look at the hours, wage, taxes, and think, ok, that’s fair. But this is a gift with no tear-off part at the bottom to show me how it worked out. And for some people, that’s the reality of their Christian life. It’s beautiful isn’t it? To work purely to serve. Yet it’s scary (for those lacking in faith, such as myself), to have to wait and hope for provision. That’s a huge reality of being a missionary that I haven’t experienced much of in my life.

So now what do I do? With the money. With the thoughts. With future money I “earn.” If I really believe that every Christian is a missionary, then maybe I should only take what I need from my pay check and give away the rest. Does it make sense to put my money in the bank so it can accrue interest, when I could put it in the church so that it can be used to store up treasures in heaven (and I don’t mean heavenly segways that take you from cloud to cloud-but not down stairs, I mean souls). Maybe that’s not being wise. But that’s often the question for Christians isn’t it? The tension between generosity/hospitality and responsibility, between giving and saving. It’s thick mud and I’m always getting my feet stuck in it. When that happens, pray I get out by grabbing a vine of faith, not greed.

Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful, I really am. Whoever sent this money is going to help get me back to San Diego in August, but it means a lot more to me than that. I want to get what I can from this experience, but not overthink it too much. Ruth said I should rejoice in my gift, so I think I will.

Immanuel thus far

A huge part of my experience here at the mission so far has been meeting the church groups that come in. Each group is different, and all the groups are very different from the California group. I’m much more thankful now for the program that VBC has for mission trip because there seems to be a lot more chances offered for participants to reflect on their own lives and engage in the growth of others in the group. But these other groups have been really fun too, and now I am making friends in all areas of the country.

Here’s a recap the groups so far:

Colorado: small group with older people. except for good ol' fourteen year old Kristen who loves Chris Tomlin. These people were super nice and Janice and Paul (not in the picture) are an older couple who recently drove up to Alaska and most of the time slept on the side of the road on a matress in their Astro Van. So awesome.

Then the Iowa people came. This group was fun because most of the poeple on the trip were around my age. Interesting church too, it broke from a larger church and recently combined with another church. It's a really young church. John Bloom's son Davey is one of the elders (he's 36 I think). Anyway by the end of the week I was super tired because on top of their work projects and staying up until midnight playing camp games and screaming ninjas, they did an activity like hiking to the dinosaur tracks, climbing up Seh-sa-uh (sp?) and going to the canyon almost every day they were here. I may decide to go to Iowa sometime next year on a road trip.

Finally last week's group was from Oregon. I don't have any pictures yet. They were a mixed group of family and youth. It was weird because two of the youth leaders who came were married to each other and another was getting married in a week (both were close to my age). It's not like I haven't seen a young married couple (I do go to Point Loma), but man so young. I've talked to a lot of people here who were married young. Those Brethern folk may be worse than Nazarenes! But they were fun. I ended up getting in a discussion with the youth pastor and found out that I was more Wesleyan than I thought. I still don't really know why, but I'll take his word for it. On the last day the group was here we went to the canyon and this kid cracked his head open on a rock. It was really fun to ask him the same questions every 5 minutes because he had a bit of short-term memory loss. He's fine now though, 12 staples later.

This week there's no church group, just one man from New Jersey who's helping out a little here and there. It's ok though, it's kind of exhausting living out mission trip every week of the summer. I'm really enjoying my time here. I think this week will be a good week of rest and reflection (after a full work day). But we'll see what the Lord brings.

Jesus Prayer

I’ve been busy since my last update things like paint projects, VBS, meals, hang out time, runs, and climbing up rocks and mesas have taken up most of my time. I’ll write more about the happenings later, when I can include some photos. For now, here’s some thing I’ve been thinking about:

I was reading Reaching Out by Heri Nouwen (I like to read every Nouw en again…. Ha ha). Anyway so Nouwen writes a lot about prayer and solitude and in this book he teaches us to pray by teaching us an ancient prayer uttered by Haychast Christians called the “Jesus prayer” consisting of the simple words “Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy upon me.” I’ve heard this prayer before, and in the past I’ve tried to make it a part of my life, but until recently I have never found any comfort in it. The prayer served to remind me more of me and how I’m always needing grace and mercy, which of course, is true and probably needed in my life more than I like to admit. Yet, prayer is not really about beating ourselves up; it is a chance for the Spirit in us to commune with the Father on our behalf. In this we find place for us to be, rest, cry, and/or rejoice, but mostly we pray in obedience to enter into the community of God. Anyway, I’ve found it more beneficial lately to carry the words of the Jesus prayer in my heart throughout the day along with a response that says “Lord, thank you for your mercy.”

I think that a response of gratitude to God’s mercy not only reminds us that we not only are in need of God’s mercy, but that God gives us mercy according to God’s unfailing love. It not only reminds us of our condition, but also of God’s. It challenges us to see the redemption in our lives, despite our ever-present need for grace. So, take that on the road with you if it will fit in your pack.

A Prophet Without Honor

I was watching an episode of 30 days, Morgan Spurlock's show inspired by his documentary "Super Size Me." There's an episode where he goes to live on an Indian Reservation which happens to be the very reservation we are on right now. Except most of the show takes place a couple hours east of where I am probably in New Mexico somewhere. You can look up the episode online http://www.fxnetworks.com/shows/originals/30days/

Anyway, what made this episode really interesting to watch is that I did so with Lorena (pictured in the previous post). She is a Navajo missionary who lives at Immanuel. So far, she's probably my best friend on the mission. I admire her a lot.

During some school years, Lorena teaches a class on Navajo culture. It includes things like preparing Navajo dishes, teaching the Navajo language, and teaching about the culture in a way that gives honor both to the Navajo and to God. Many families are very thankful that she is willing to teach this. Some families are not. Lorena says that these families tend to be the (Navajo) Christian families who believe that the Navajo have to "leave the old ways behind." To Lorena this doesn't make much sense. She says that "We can't stop being Navajo, God made us Navajo."

Such an interesting concept, right? Not that God scattered everyone at Babel and now is trying to get it all back together. But that God actually made people who belong to certain nations. I think it's really hard to understand because in America there is so much distance (literally, unless you're a Native American) from your past culture. If anything, the American Dream is to forget your past and move up. (where is up?--Dunno, possibly Danville or La Jolla?) I don't really feel like God made me American because what does it mean to be American? Whatever you want it to mean. Which ironically, is sort of meaningless.

It's just interesting to hear Lorena's struggle between the Christian and Non-Christian Navajo. There is conflict present on both sides. But she plays such a significant role on the mission as being a bridge between what it means to be a Christian-Navajo. In a way, she almost has to be the Navajo Jesus.

"Only in his hometown, among his own relatives and his own house is a prophet without honor."

Arizona: I'm here!!

Hey Friends,

I am here at Immanuel Mission. Before I talk about life, here's some contact information:

You can always send me mail:

PO Box 2000
Teec Nos Pos, AZ, 86514

*remember, you can always send me packages! It's not like I'm in the army or something...

I have internet access in certain parts of the Mission, and I'll try to get online at least once a week so you can: email/facebook/comment on blog

I also have a phone in my room. There's only one line on the mission, so they say keep it to 20mins, but even that's not as big of a deal during the summer. I'm in the trailor in the evenings sometimes. It's one hour later than CA here.

917-254-4023 ext. 26

Ok so I got here. It was a lot of driving, but I didn't have to stop and sleep at all, I also did not hit a moose, and also I did not get blown off the road. The roads in Utah and Arizona seem a lot less tame than those in CA. I went slow; big rigs passed me on a two-lane road. But Utah is really beautiful in some parts. Especially Moab. I'd like to go back there. I think there's been road work on every interstate I've been on. I know people prayed for me, and I think that helped a lot.

Ok so when I first got to Immanuel Mission, there was no one here. It was so different from coming with VBC in July. It was abondoned and super windy:

I was first greeted by this guy:

John Bloom's dog I think. He hasn't picked a name yet I don't think. Some people call him "Go Home."

Then after about 10 mins the Tom's came by and let me into my trailor:

I love it.

So highlights from my trip so far:

- Going with John to an auction in Farmington, New Mexico. Can you say yee-haw? He bought some stuff for the mission. I met cowboys. It was definitely an experience. Wish I brought my camera. Maybe next time.

- Getting to know the first church group to visit. They are from Colorado. There's only one teen-ager. She's really talkative and she loves Chris Tomlin. She's the kind of girl you talk to and you think you've got her pegged, but everyone has a story... They are a really nice group of people.

- Meeting Loreena and Karen. We went out to one lady's house named Anna, who lives next to one of the missionaries. We cleaned Anna's house and had lunch at Kathy's (the missionary) here's a picture:

-Karen (the one on the left) lives in Kansas. A few days after this picture was taken Loreena (right middle) and I went to Durago, CO to drop of Karen. Such good conversation. She remarked how it really was the Lord that brought us together that time for lunch. How else would these 6 people meet up together in the middle of the Navajo Nation? So crazy.

-Some of us went to Big Sitting Rock (no one calls is that, but I don't know how to spell the Navajo name). Anyway we sat under the stars and I saw a full moon rise over a mesa. I can't even explain how beautiful it was.

I've been busy mostly with various work projects and being with people. Really good times of reading the Bible though. I don't really have a concept of time out here so I think it makes it easier to pray and read.

I'm really trying to get a feel for life here. Part of me loves this adventure, but another part of me always has to remind the other that this summer is not really about adventure, that beneath my "experience" is real, deep need. There are people here who have been faithful to a place with beautiful people and surroundings, but also great poverty and deep hurt. My summer is bigger than me.

Loreena talked to me a lot about her life and the life of the mission and you just get this feeling like man there is so much need, how can God hold this all together? You know? Like think of all the people you know, everyone needs so much love. And think of the communities you know, everywhere there are people and persons hurting. And our God is one that holds it all together. It's good and neceassary to remember that God provides and that God is big and faithful, but I think it's also important to live in the confusion, mystery, and tension that asks how? That's the God and man, that's the already, but not yet, that's Jesus.

So there's a lot more I'd love to talk to you about, but this is way too long already. Thanks for reading!

On my way to AZ: Traveling Mercies

Ok so tomorrow I'm getting up at 5am and heading for Utah. My Aunt lives in Park City and I'll stay with her fam for 2 nights, and from there it's almost straight down to Sweetwater, AZ.

I'm really nervous about the drive so if anyone is reading this before June 5th please pray for me and my car and my safety. I believe the term is "traveling mercies." I think my car needs mercy because it is a Saturn which is a product of GM which is a very destructive company that tax payers now have to bail out of bankruptcy. And I need mercy because I'm a helpless sinner who is traveling. Traveling Mercies.

I feel a lot better about my actual time on the mission. I have received peace concerning some of my anxieties. I'll write more about this later. Right now I want to get some decent sleep. Basically with this post I want to let you know that I'm going, thank you for any prayers you've spoken on behalf of me so far, and ask for more of it. Thanks.